The Importance of Bottled Water

Need I Say More?

*Warning this blog engages adult content*

This past weekend after a fun Friday night at Star Lounge, my family and I got to talking about being in a relationship and clubbin’. If you’re in a serious relationship with someone, do you stop partying to stay home and boo-love? Do you go out partying with your other or leave him/her at home?

I, personally, like going to a party with my boo every now and again. It’s like foreplay (Yes, I said it!) I dust off my freakum dress and slip on my faux-boutins (fake Louboutins). It’s fun to go out with your man and be the baddest bitch in the club, having other people conspicuously staring while you’re whining up on your boo in the corner; you both get a little tipsy and after an hour in the club, DAMN, you’ll be making excuses to your friends like, “Oh, I gotta go right now. I think I left the iron on...and face down on my bed…yeah… I'm gonna go... NOW. Bye!” Sprinting out the club, heels in your hand, trying to get home with your boo, ASAP.

Then there’s Ladies Night or Out with the Boys Night, and that’s a necessity to every relationship’s sanity. Sometimes you just need to pull yourself away from your boo and just hang out with your friends. It’s never healthy to be one of those Siamese couples who are attached at the head. You all know what I mean because everyone has one of those friends... and if you don't , you probably are that friend. For example, you invite your girl out for shopping and a movie and she shows up with her boyfriend, who greets you with, “Let’s get this shit over with so I can go to Best Buy.” Huh? That’s the best way to make all your friends hate you; and God forbid you break up with your boo, you’ll be crying over some random stranger at Starbucks shoulder because you haven’t seen any of your friends in months.

But let’s be real… the first scenario, going to the club with your other, does not happen most of the time. Most of the time, you’re home with your man, boo-lovin and ya’ll ain’t trying to go nowhere. Like my country cousin, Rico, so eloquently put it Friday Night, “I may have been planning to go to the club with my boys but fo’real, if she got that Aquafina wett wett, I ain't going NOWHERE!” (smh?) Yes, read that again. Aquafina. Wett. Wett. as opposed to what? Tap water of course! And with Aquafina wett wett purity is guaranteed. (It says so on the damn bottle!)

In conclusion, going out with your girl/guy can be cool. Going out for boy’s night or ladies night is most definitely necessary. But a night of Aquafina wett wett trumps ALL.

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I wanna shout out all my *FTN* (Fuck That Nigga!) girls (Bella, Taya...) and any potential new members (you wanna join?).

This is Rach, splashin’ Aquafina wett wett all over this blog.
Axe:Rachel

Barbeques & Barbancourt

It’s that time again… hot weather, cold beers, loud music and loud relatives. Aaaaah! With summer approaching, it’s time, once again, to break out that Barbancourt or whatever is your equivalent of colonial Island rum. You know what I’m talking ‘bout. In Haiti it’s Barbancourt; to Puerto Ricans its Bacardi; to Brazilians it’s Cachaca; to Jamaicans it’s Appleton Estate and so on and so forth. You can find these potent colonial rums in any Caribbean/ South American country that suffered through slavery, especially places that processed sugar cane fields and used sugar cane byproduct to produce a potent rum to help them forget about how they wanted to strangle and stab every white man in sight. So tell your grandpa to break out that ole colonial rum and let the good times roll.

And let me just share a little something I’ve learned about barbeque season. Depending on where you go, there are cultural specific rules that you should be familiar with beforehand such as: a non-Haitian, non-West Indian, non-colored friend invited to me to her home for a barbeque a few weeks ago. My jaw unhinged when she told me that the barbeque would begin at noon. Noon? Being Haitian, I have never heard of any party/ wedding/ communion/funeral and definitely not a bbq that began before 6pm. Now, when I arrived there at 1:45pm (early for a Haitian) and found that all the guests had already arrived, my jaw and bottom lip literally scraped the floor.

When a Haitian family barbecues, everyone shows up after 6pm, and stays until 3am. People are still cooking rice and chicken when you arrive and everyone takes a big ole plate of food home with them on their way home. We drink too much, we eat too much, we dance (sloppily) and we joke on the non-Haitians in Kreyol so they can’t understand what we’re saying; and then we drive home at 3am deaf, drunk and bloated, praying a cop doesn’t pull us over. (Leave it to the reckless blog to make reckless behavior sound so wonderfully tempting). And the colonial island rum is, of course, a staple of the Haitian barbeque. A lil Barbancourt and grandma and grandpa can get drunk and reminisce about the not-so good good old days with Papa Doc. And a lil Barbancourt will put a crying baby or toddler to sleep in 2.3 seconds. Talk about good times! So call up your token Haitian friend, and hit up your local liquor store, because nothing says summer like a good barbeque and Barbancourt.

Sak Pase to all my Zoes!

Enjoy some Haitian humor. It goes well with some Haitian rum…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NzLfw93xeQ

Axe:Rachel

Girl Power!

The genre of girl groups has a place very near and dear in my heart that began at a very early age with TLC and peaking with the Spice Girls. I especially loved the feisty-er girl groups like Salt and Pepper. When I think about the evolution of girl groups from the Supremes to Sister Sledge to the Dixie Chicks. I find that society and women have evolved immensely in the past decade, especially for my generation. We women, are now much more boisterous, sassy, confident (bordering on cocky) and crude then in the past and this can be reflected in the music of our times. And what would one expect with Madonna and Samantha from Sex and the City at the forefront of changing the way men and women relate sexually?

Okay, okay... I know what you're thinking. Why should you give a fuck? Well, because last week by cousin Bella turned me onto this new adorable girl group called Electrik Red and the best song on their album titled "We Fuck You". Yes that’s right. "We Fuck You". The title alone does not really give you a chance to understand the premise of the song so, here are some lyrics to inspire your imagination.

“I heard you like to put it on the street
And how I'm an undercover freak
You was like flash in the sheets
So fast I had to finish when u leave
Like a kid with a cake you can really eat it (uh)
Like a stray dog happy every time I feed him

I wonder if you know the truth, (know the truth)
Y'all don't fuck us, nigga we fuck you” -Electrik Red

(want more? check this link)

Wow. Talk about Girl Power… We've come a long way from "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends". The lyrics are out of control and yet, I LOVE it. I got that shit on repeat on my ipod.

I put that song on a mix with this new joint “Took the Night” by Chelly which sounds fantastically drag-a-licious. Lemme hit you with some of those lyrics…

“Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what bitches say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way

Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tight
All eyes on me I took the night.”

(work it! link to the full song)

Now put these songs together and what do you get? Girl Power 2009 which is based on what I call “Bitch Appeal”. And you know exactly what I mean. All of us single, nice, girls out there can name at least five cute, sweet, great catch boyfriends who are dating she-devils bitch whores. Why? Because men LOVE bitches. (for further proof please buy Why Men Love Bitches at amazon.com) It’s a damn near science, ya’ll. Not buying it??? Then you tell me how Posh Spice with her tight lipped, botoxed, frown got David Beckham and spunky lil Scary Spice got Eddy Murphy… as a baby daddy. Bitch please! Case closed.

Let me clarify: I am NOT telling you to that you should be a bitch to get a man. I am simply saying that it may help if you pick up some bitchy tendencies. So, next time you’re steppin’ out with the girls to pick up some sailors for fleet week, turn up your bitch mix in the car & get your mind right.

The Bitch Mix

I Took the Night by Chelly

Love Game by Lady Gaga

We Fuck U by Electrik Red

Single Ladies by Beyonce

Bossy by Kelis

My Neck My Back by Khia



Axe:Rachel