The Washington Roast

So, as many of you know, I just moved to Washington DC. and now that I'm in the capitol you may expect this blog to be more politically motivated and socially critical... well, you've got the socially critical part right. Since the big move out of New York, I am constantly reminded of how much of a New Yorker I am. No bagels, no greasy NY pizza, the stores, including CVS, on my block close at 10pm. WTF! I know people who live in DC love it but I'm sorry, your metro may be cleaner than the subway, but it's also expensive for no reason, doesn't run all night and doesn't offer a monthy unlimited card.

Despite these qualms however, there is only one thing that is truly disturbing and un-fathomable here in DC: The average white female aged 18-35 and their choice of clothing. Let me clarify up front that I am leaving black women and asian (east asian too) out of this roast because quite frankly, chocolate city is doing it, or trying to do it, which is much more than I can say for their no-melanin counterpart.

So, I will employ pictures to help show you what's wrong with these washingtonian women.

Here is Case A (the most common case)

Why? Why do these women actually wear big clonky-looking like your frat boyfriend's leather flip-flop with a beatiful feminine summer dress? Enough to make me throw up in my mouth a lil bit. All sorts of beautiful sandals are in style right now. Gladiators, beaded, ankle strap sandals; why not put something pretty on your feet to go with your pretty dress?

So, now see Case B.

Now, these are the women who are walking to Capitol hill to work with Obama. No wonder, Michelle's not worried about any fast interns "lewinsky"ing her man. This look is a) NOT professional and b) NOT sexy, cute, not even ok. Why wear the college flip flops when comfy and cute flats in every color are available and in style? I will never understand.

And the worst is this, Case C

Do these shoes look familiar? Of course! Thay are the kind of sandals you wore to your 8th grade dance when most of the girls where still taller then the boys.

In 1994 = CUTE In 2010 = HellNAW

So what is up with pairing your junior high prom sandals with a short dress to go out at night in DC? With so many beautiful shoes to pick from regardless of your budget, there is NO excuse for this. Ive seen DSW, Ive see H&M, Ive seen an Aldo here in DC area. If the sistas' shoes game are bangin then there's no reason for the high school musical kitten heel sandal. NONE. This is not what you wear with a freakum dress to go to the club.

Why not try something like this next time your going to the club?

OK, so thats it for my superficial outburst of the day. DC women, you know who you are, New York is in the house now and I'm watching you...

AXE